Codependency is characterized as an imbalanced and dysfunctional relationship where one individual enables another person for almost all their emotional needs. The behavior patterns of Codepency are usually passed down through generations of family and are taught unconsciously.
Codependency is a form of relationship addiction. Individuals who suffer from codepenct behavior develope addictions and compulsive behaviors to feel better.
Individual whose self value has been damaged by childhood abuse are more susceptible to trying to get validation and self worth through another person. Anyone can become codependent but research shows individuals who grew up abused are more likely to become codependent. The reason is many are conditioned to subvert their own needs to please a difficult parent, which sets up an unconscious and defeating pattern of trying to get acceptance and love from individuals incapable of giving either.
Children who grew up with emotionally unavailable parents find themselves in relationships where their partner is emotionally unavailable. It is not uncommon that people who are codependent look for things outside of themselves to feel better. A sure sign that you struggle with codependent behavior in your relationship is, when you feel your sense of purpose in life evolves around the needs of other people. We usually identify codependent relationships with romantic relationships but codependent relationships can happens between anyone. Such as relationships with friends, families, co workers etc.
Children who experience child abuse grow up to be adults who struggle with PTSD, depression, chronic anxiety, trauma, and addiction. When patterns from childhood are repeated, the person grows up to ignore their own needs, and often focus on the needs of others for their emotional survival.
codependent thinking, emotions, and behavior-Facing Codependence What It Is, Where It Comes From, How it Sabotages Our Lives. I, many times see a direct in my clients private sessions between their abusive childhood and struggling within their life as a dysfunctional, damaged adult due to continuing unconscious sabotaging behaviorisms (karmic blocks).
The usual suspects are individuals who survived psychic trauma, physical or sexual abuse and emotional abuse in their childhood. Falling under the category of Spiritual because these traumas affect ones spirit, psychological and emotional well-being. This is the foundation of adult mental and many times physical health problems.
What are your relationship patterns? Do you find that you make most of the sacrifices for your partners happiness? Do you find you loose yourself in your relationships? Do you have a hard time asserting yourself and setting boundaries ? If you have suffered trauma, psychological abuse, abandoned or neglect, your psychological resiliency about who you are and your self worth is most likely greatly compromised.
1. Do you suffer from a low self esteem?
2.Are you a people pleaser?
3. Do you have problems with intimacy? Intimacy is not just about sex, thou intimacy issues often lead to physical intimacy issues. I am referring to being open and honest in a close relationship, without fear of shame, rejection or abandonment.
4. Have you ever lived with someone who puts you down or hits you? Or have you lived with someone who been Gaslighted you?
5. Do you value the opinions of others more then your own? Are the opinions of others more important than your own?
6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?
7. Do you doubt or feel uncomfortable with your ability to be who you want to be?
8. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true individuality and feelings to others?
9. Have you ever felt not good enough or as if there is something wrong with you?
11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?
12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?
14. Do you feel obligated to do things and help people in your life?
15. Do you frequently wish someone would be there for you?
16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as a boss?
17. Do you feel detached?
18. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?
19. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?
19. Do you avoid asking for help?
20. Do you find that you keep yourself busy to avoid situations?
21.Do you find that you confuse love for pity?
22. Do you fixate on mistakes?
If you identify with several of these symptoms; are dissatisfied with yourself or your relationships; you should consider seeking professional help. Arrange for a diagnostic evaluation with a licensed physician or psychologist experienced in treating co-dependency.
How is Co-dependency Treated?
Because co-dependency is usually rooted in a person’s childhood, treatment often involves exploration into early childhood issues and their relationship to current destructive behavior patterns.
Some ideas in treating codependent behavior are
Awareness. Acknowledge codependency is a problem. Focus on your own internal needs rather then external people and things.
Open communication with your partner and setting boundaries that both parties are comfortable with.
Creating Balance in your life by filling your schedule with taking care of your own spiritual, physical and emotional needs. Such as reading spiritual material, doing yoga, meditation and working out at the gym.
Reconnecting with outside friends and family.
Be patient with yourself by accepting codependency is a life long journey that includes many different types of self help and self care.
Take Action by knowing how you display codepend behavior, and by being clear on the type of relationship you want to have. finding new interests and participating in hobbies with likeminded people.
If you answered yes to half or more of the above questions you may want to consider working with me. In your private sessions I determine what unconscious behaviorisms you have that are blocking you from manifesting good health, wealth, healthy & balanced relationships and overall emotional fulfillment. I will also tell you what your souls path is, Connect you to love ones who have crossed over for your healing and guidance needs and, give you a step by step protocol on how to heal and create your own “Heaven on Earth”.
Laura Schwalm is a Master Psychic Healer Medium that specializes in healing The Effects of Psychic Trauma. To read more about Laura and her services go to http://www.pureenergyhealer.com.
